My daughter cut her own hair (and her best friend’s!) during a playdate. What do I do?

First things first. Dont Panic! A little experimentation with hair cutting is perfectly normal and totally non-permanent. Her hair will grow back eventually, so take a good, deep breath and move on from there.

If this is your daughter’s first foray into the world of self haircuts, sit her down and have a serious talk about why only grown-ups are allowed to cut hair. This of course is only going to work if your daughter is old enough to understand that scissors are very sharp and can hurt her. If she is over five years old or so you can explain to her that you need a license to cut hair like the ladies at a hair salon (its a bit of a stretch but its what I tell my clients if I think they are old enough to understand). Also, you need to explain to her that it makes you very upset when she cuts her own hair, and that she wont get in trouble this time, but next time she cuts her own or (anyone else’s) there will be consequences.

The next step is unfortunately a very uncomfortable one: Call her best friend’s parents and explain what happened (or wait until its pick-up time). Most importantly, you should apologize for what happened and offer to pay for the haircut to repair the damage. Most parents are going to understand and wont expect you to pay for it, but the gesture is what is important. You want her parents to feel comfortable sending their daughter to your house for playdates in the future (or perhaps you dont, if you are less than thrilled with the friendships your daughter is forming). Either way being polite is the correct action.

Depending on the severity of the self haircut, here are a few tips for repairing (or covering) the damage:

Try a shorter haircut: This is often the hardest for many parents to deal with. I know how frustrating it can be to spend years growing your daughters hair into beautiful flowing locks only to have her lob them all off, but in many cases your choices are either to let your five year old walk around looking like a shaggy dog or cut her hair shorter. There are always options as to how short you can take it and ways you can hide self haircuts within layering, etc. Talk in depth with your stylist about what options are best for your daughter.

Cover up with clips or bows:This approach takes a decent amount of effort, but very little commitment. Hair clips, bows, and headbands can be a nice little “bandaid” for girls who only cut a small chunk out of their hair. Get creative with how you use these; headbands can cover missing bits near the forehead or bangs. Other pieces of hair can be pulled over or parted differently to cover missing hair and held in place with clips or bows.

Do nothing: For many girls with curly, wavy, or just kind of messy hair, often times the missing chunk of hair is unnoticeable (you might have only been clued in by the trail of hair you found on the floor). In these cases it is perfectly acceptable to do nothing and no one will think you a bad parent. If your daughter is feeling insecure about what she has done perhaps making her live with her “artistic” activities will teach her a lesson and discourage a repeat performance.